"Hope that one tragic loss does not mean another. Hope in always trusting the bigger plan & pulling up by the bootstraps. Hope in a purpose is not a clear-laid path."
Last year was really hard. We decided we wanted to move to California, and well - it didn't happen. In October my husband moved to South San Fran, while I packed up a house and then a moving truck. I ate at all my favorite places, said goodbye to my brother and his family, and wrote off the city I came to right after graduation for a retail management position. I was ready to leave, to start over. The afternoon the moving truck came and picked up all our stuff was the day the bottom fell out. I got a phone call an hour after they left to let me know that something was wrong. Last year was when the economy started to tank, really bad. My husband was told that all new positions were eliminated and that he could go back to the Carolinas. This is the part where you can only imagine the panic, the stress and well the tears that our dream to start a new chapter out west would never be written.
The next few days where really a blur. I called my manager and asked for my job back, I called the moving company and asked for our stuff to come back, we called the apartment building to get out of our crazy lease, and then I turned to hope that everything would work out in the end. That was when I learned that everything can be reversed. I put on a smile when I greeted my husband at the airport who was numb. We went to our home that was all clean and clear of any of our belongings. We got our dogs and headed south to see the his parents. We spend that weekend getting our lives in order. Getting our address updated (again), emailing my contacts in CA to let them know I would not be coming for an interview and then calling my best friend to say something I didn't want to say; they we were not moving. All I wanted to do was to crawl under a rock and never come out again. I felt like I failed.
Over the next few months, it didn't get better. I am still surprised that my friends welcomed me with open arms and my grumpy attitude. The holidays came and we spend our first time without my in-laws/extended family who were in California visiting my husband's sister. We both just wanted to blink and have 2008 end. New Years was when things really started to take a turn. We got our pride back and rang in the season with a hope that next year, 2009 would be our year.
So far, things have not been perfect, but they are good. We have a roof over our heads, food on the table, one income to keep us going and well, we have a strong marriage to lean on. Things are not always easy, but I do have hope that things will be okay. We'll get a bigger place without having to share walls, my husband will find another job and we'll get to start a family. It might not happen right away, but no matter what, we made it to the other side in one piece and today, that is what counts.
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