June 29, 2009

Checking In

I found this on a blog and thought I would like to try and do this also. It is a great way to report and keep track of life in general. A topic popped into my head this morning on the way to work that I hope to write about next time - "Dating Don't Do." You can thank a late night at a bar, a few drinks and a good conversation with a friend to bring this topic about. But for now:

"Just a round-up of my life over the week to keep me honest, and satisfy that need for voyeurism that forces you to read my blog."


Mind
One-word description of the workweek: loaded
Books I've finished: I started Julie and Julia/My Sister's Keeper - not sure I will finish either any time soon.
News story that stuck with me: Jon & Kate Plus 8 divorcing; Farrah Fawcett--dead!; Michael Jackson--dead! Oxy-Clean Guy --dead! What a week.


Body
Workouts this week: Trying for 3.
Nutritional cheats: Stupid cheese fries and beer. It was late too. Still beating myself up for it.


Spirit
What I did for myself: I went out on a girl's night and stayed out way past my bedtime. I also got the house super clean for not only the week, but a showing. Still crossing fingers we sell our townhome.

June 19, 2009

Acting His Way Out of a Paper Bag

A little background: The hubs went to college for drama that takes place on a stage, not the Jon and Kate Plus Eight kind. He got his diploma and moved back east after working odd jobs including one in the magazine industry. Once he set up shop in North Carolina, he went into HR. HR is tricky, but a lot like being a drama major. You deal with people, and well, from my experience, people can be crazy. After his company downsized and the 11pm phone calls to India stopped in our home, he started searching for the next big thing. They came in three little packages that looked promising, but fell short of even a glimpse to propel up the corporate ladder.

In our current economy, when one find themselves out of work, I mean a career, best thing to do reinvent themselves. Being the supportive wife I try really hard to be, we took the team approach to finding ones true calling. It came in forms of meeting at the coffeehouse for brainstorming sessions, to evening with lots of adult beverages and word vomiting into the wee hours of the night. But what came next, neither of us saw coming. A local play was short on staff, and well, I mentioned that the hubs could step in to help. Yes, I know it was selfish to volunteer his endless hours to job surf on the Internet, but we both agreed in previous weeks that networking would be key to landing a cube back in Corporate America.

Last Tuesday evening it clicked. He auditioned and got the part; *poof readers, met my hubs the actor. Can you tell I am like a proud mother who's kid got the lead role in his school play? Well, it isn't the lead, but enough speaking parts and fast changes to make your head spin. In less than one month, the hubs will be back doing what he actually got his degree in, which not most people can say these days. Hopefully this is lead to bigger and better things, but in the meantime, we plan to just soak up the good news for a change.

June 12, 2009

All You Need Is...

"Hope that one tragic loss does not mean another. Hope in always trusting the bigger plan & pulling up by the bootstraps. Hope in a purpose is not a clear-laid path."

Last year was really hard. We decided we wanted to move to California, and well - it didn't happen. In October my husband moved to South San Fran, while I packed up a house and then a moving truck. I ate at all my favorite places, said goodbye to my brother and his family, and wrote off the city I came to right after graduation for a retail management position. I was ready to leave, to start over. The afternoon the moving truck came and picked up all our stuff was the day the bottom fell out. I got a phone call an hour after they left to let me know that something was wrong. Last year was when the economy started to tank, really bad. My husband was told that all new positions were eliminated and that he could go back to the Carolinas. This is the part where you can only imagine the panic, the stress and well the tears that our dream to start a new chapter out west would never be written.

The next few days where really a blur. I called my manager and asked for my job back, I called the moving company and asked for our stuff to come back, we called the apartment building to get out of our crazy lease, and then I turned to hope that everything would work out in the end. That was when I learned that everything can be reversed. I put on a smile when I greeted my husband at the airport who was numb. We went to our home that was all clean and clear of any of our belongings. We got our dogs and headed south to see the his parents. We spend that weekend getting our lives in order. Getting our address updated (again), emailing my contacts in CA to let them know I would not be coming for an interview and then calling my best friend to say something I didn't want to say; they we were not moving. All I wanted to do was to crawl under a rock and never come out again. I felt like I failed.

Over the next few months, it didn't get better. I am still surprised that my friends welcomed me with open arms and my grumpy attitude. The holidays came and we spend our first time without my in-laws/extended family who were in California visiting my husband's sister. We both just wanted to blink and have 2008 end. New Years was when things really started to take a turn. We got our pride back and rang in the season with a hope that next year, 2009 would be our year.

So far, things have not been perfect, but they are good. We have a roof over our heads, food on the table, one income to keep us going and well, we have a strong marriage to lean on. Things are not always easy, but I do have hope that things will be okay. We'll get a bigger place without having to share walls, my husband will find another job and we'll get to start a family. It might not happen right away, but no matter what, we made it to the other side in one piece and today, that is what counts.

June 10, 2009

What's Next?

On the way to work today, I heard a song that I've heard a million times before, but for some reason, today it rang true to my current situation. I've been surfing through blogs reading everything from divorce to new recipes. And then it hit me - where is my life going and why does it seem like everyone else has a plan?

This year (so far) hasn't been the best nor the worst. Here's a short list:
* One year of marriage :)
* Two years of my husband searching for work and coming up empty :(
* Eight months of our town home on the market :(
* A few month of us starting a small business :)
* Almost eight years down the part-time retail drain; I got laid off last month :(
* A month after our boxer got Cancer and had surgery (Stage 2) :(

I am trying my best to count as many blessings as I can, but lately, even that gets really hard to do. I just feel like we are stuck and can't move forward. I worry that things will always be this way and while we try for change - everyone else around us will move forward while we struggle to stay a float. How did we get here? Can't blame a president or an economy; it is what it is. Trying to figure out how to make the best out of a situation can be exhausting. Trying to find more tricks to pull out of my sleeve isn't working here. So what is next? I have no clue, but I will keep hoping for the best.